An elderly man was riding a train when he accidentally broke a minor regulation. A young train employee who had observed the infraction proceeded to unmercifully bawl out the elderly man. Later a fellow passenger nudged the old gentleman and suggested he give the employee a piece of his mind. But the old man just smiled and said, “Oh, if a man like that can stand himself for all of his life, I surely can stand him for five minutes.”1

While this may be a funny story, for many of us it hits a bit close to home. If we’re honest, most of us have at least one person in our lives that we would say we “can’t stand!” It may be a boss, a co-worker, a fellow student, or a neighbor. It could be a fellow Emmanuel member, or even a spouse, a child, or a brother or sister. Even though we may feel a twinge of embarrassment acknowledging that we have a relational struggle with someone, this reality plagues all of us at one time or another. Therefore, we must discern how we can live with those we can’t stand. How can we work with a boss who is a tyrant? How can we stay married to a spouse who is unfaithful? How can we cope with a child who is rebellious? How can we attend church with a person who gossips about us? How can we live and even thrive with an enemy or a persecutor.

Paul has a word for us. We’re going to embark on what is likely the most challenging teaching in the entire Bible. This concept is not hard; it’s flat out impossible! But that’s good because supernatural behavior forces us to go back to Jesus Christ on a moment-by-moment basis. In Romans 12:14-21,2 Paul reveals the secret conspiracy of love. In order to unleash this secret conspiracy of love we will have to carry out three disciplines.

1. “We must choose supernatural love” (12:14). Paul writes, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” These words sound rather familiar, don’t they? Could it be that Paul was influenced by another man’s teachings? In Matthew 5:44, Jesus said, “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” In Luke 6:28, He said, “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Now in Romans, Paul says we are to “bless” those who persecute us. Obviously, this requires a choice on our part. The choice is to bless or curse, to love or hate. We must choose.

The Greek word for “bless”3(eulogeo) is an interesting word. It means “to speak well of a person.” Our English word “eulogize” is taken from this Greek word. So to bless our persecutors is to eulogize them, to speak well of them. This requires a supernatural love and incredible self-control. When we are persecuted, our fleshly tendency is to respond with our fists or our tongues. Yet, we are commanded to choose supernatural love. This means whenever a persecutor confronts us we are to bless.

Persecution comes in various forms, from subtle to overt. It can be as simple as not being included in a certain circle of friends, to being ridiculed publicly before your co-workers and associates. And in some places in the world today, Christians are persecuted openly by the state. Some are not allowed to work in the occupation for which they were trained. Others have their children taken away so they will not be brought up in a Christian environment. Others who publicly share their faith are thrown into prison and suffer great humiliation. Some of those who persecute us may be within our family structures. While there may be different degrees, the Bible teaches that persecution is inevitable. Paul says it best in 2 Timothy 3:12, “Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” Therefore, since we will all face persecution, we might as well learn to face it well. How can we do this? By being a blessing.

The apostle Peter encourages us in 1 Peter 3:8-11 when he writes, “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. [We were called to "inherit a blessing." The reward of the "blessing" is explained in 3:10]: For, ‘THE ONE WHO DESIRES LIFE, TO LOVE AND SEE GOOD DAYS, [The conditions of the blessing are revealed in the remaining verse and a half] MUST KEEP HIS TONGUE FROM EVIL AND HIS LIPS FROM SPEAKING DECEIT. HE MUST TURN AWAY FROM EVIL AND DO GOOD; HE MUST SEEK PEACE AND PURSUE IT.’” These verses couldn’t be clearer; God wants to reward us for our faithfulness to Him. Yet, He requires a conscious choice on our part that is wholly dependent upon His Spirit to perform. This is the Christian response and it is an unexpected response. It testifies to the world that we are radically different. When we consciously choose to bless our persecutors, lives will be affected.

[Not only must we choose supernatural love. . .]

2. “We must practice supernatural love” (12:15-16). In 12:15, Paul exhorts us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” We are to show all men sympathy and understanding. Which is more difficult? For most of us, rejoicing with those who rejoice. We can show sympathy when believers (and unbelievers) are hurting but it is often another thing when we are called to rejoice in the blessings of others. We are to look for opportunities to love. Some maintain that Christianity has failed. It would be more correct to say that it has rarely been tried. If we were to share in the lives of others by experiencing their joy and feeling their grief, all kinds of walls would come crashing down.

In 12:16, Paul writes, “Be of the same mind toward one another;4do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.” We are to demonstrate the love, unity, and sacrifice that can only be found in Christ. Archie Bunker once said, “I’m not prejudiced, I love all those inferior people.” However, if we’re humble, we’ll never look down on anyone. We can only look up to them. In Philippians 2:3, God instructs us to regard others as more important than ourselves. The problem is that many of us think too much of ourselves. Paul has already warned the Roman Christians about this twice (cf. 12:3, 10b), and encourages them to extend their sympathetic concern even to people of low position. The word translated “lowly”5refers to those many first-century Christians who could boast of little in the way of worldly goods or social position. We must practice supernatural love with other believers, first and foremost. This is very important. There’s no way that we can possibly expect to love our persecutors and enemies until we first demonstrate our love for fellow believers in Christ. This ensures we have a history of love. Without a history of love, we will not be able to heed Paul’s commands in 12:17-21. In these five verses Paul drops the hammer.

[Paul has instructed us to choose and practice supernatural love. He now tells us that...]

3. “We must perfect supernatural love” (12:17-21). In 12:17, Paul writes, “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.” This statement is a general summary statement for the next five verses. Notice Paul uses the word “Never.” This provides us with no loopholes. If I may paraphrase, “We must not fight fire with fire.” I have a confession to make: I have always been a closet, Charles Bronson fan. Bronson is an actor who has been in 90 different movies. He is especially well-known for his roles in the Death Wish series where he plays Paul Kersey, an unimpressive, mild-mannered, middle-aged vigilante. Each of these movies began with Kersey being the victim of a tragic crime. The storyline was then filled with his escapades to avenge his family and friends. My confession is in my flesh — I love these movies. In my flesh, I enjoy watching him avenge himself and his loved ones. Yet Paul says this is unbiblical. This is not how God’s kingdom operates.

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is found in 2 Samuel 16:5-14. This passage describes an encounter King David had with a man named Shimei. “When King David came to Bahurim, behold, there came out from there a man of the family of the house of Saul whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera; he came out cursing continually as he came. He threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David; and all the people and all the mighty men were at his right hand and at his left. Thus Shimei said when he cursed, ‘Get out, get out, you man of bloodshed, and worthless fellow! The LORD has returned upon you all the bloodshed of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned; and the LORD has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. And behold, you are taken in your own evil, for you are a man of bloodshed!’ Then Abishai the son of Zeruiah said to the king, ‘Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over now and cut off his head.’ But the king said, ‘What have I to do with you, O sons of Zeruiah? If he curses, and if the LORD has told him, ‘Curse David,’ then who shall say, ‘Why have you done so?’ Then David said to Abishai and to all his servants, ‘Behold, my son who came out from me seeks my life; how much more now this Benjamite? Let him alone and let him curse, for the LORD has told him. Perhaps the LORD will look on my affliction and return good to me instead of his cursing this day.’ So David and his men went on the way; and Shimei went along on the hillside parallel with him and as he went he cursed and cast stones and threw dust at him. The king and all the people who were with him arrived weary and he refreshed himself there.”

In seminary I took a class called “Conflict Resolution.” During this class, Dr. John Wecks expounded on this passage and taught us the importance of not retaliating when we are cursed or criticized in the church. Instead, he urged us to exercise self-control and pay careful attention to what the Lord may be teaching us. This is great counsel, although it’s impossible to do, apart from the work of the Holy Spirit.

In 12:17b, Paul exhorts us to “Respect6what is right in the sight of all men.” The word translated “respect” literally means “take thought for, or take into consideration.” We are to think carefully of how we should respond in every situation so that even unbelievers observe our lives and glorify God.7

In 12:18, Paul even goes a step further when he says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace8with all men.”9Please notice the conditional nature of this verse. The phrases “if possible” and “so far as it depends on you” remind us that we can’t force others to do what is right. Once we have done everything within our power to resolve a conflict, we have fulfilled our responsibility to God. Now if circumstances change and there seems to be a new opportunity for peace with an enemy, we should pursue it. In the meantime, we should not waste time, energy, and resources with a person who refuses to be reconciled. We must recognize our limits. God seeks your faithful obedience to Him. He prepares and softens hearts. He’s just after our obedience.

In 12:19, we are drawn back to Paul’s forceful use of the word “Never,” when he writes, “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,’10says the Lord.” This verse should challenge us to the core of our being. Instead of playing God and attempting to take our revenge, we are to “Leave room for the wrath of God.” Paul then quotes Hebrews 10:30 and reminds us that no one can avenge us quite like God.

This principle is dramatically illustrated in 1 Samuel 24:1-22. When King Saul was pursing David through the desert, intending to murder him, he inadvertently entered a cave where David was hiding with his men. David’s men urged him to kill Saul but David refused saying, “I will not stretch out my hand against my lord, for he is the LORD’S anointed” (24:10b). After Saul left the cave and walked away David emerged and called after him. When Saul realized that David could have killed him, he was deeply convicted of his sin and said, “You are more righteous than I; for you have dealt well with me, while I have dealt wickedly with you. You have declared today that you have done good to me, that the LORD delivered me into your hand and yetyou did not kill me. For if a man finds his enemy, will he let him go away safely? May the LORD therefore reward you with good in return for what you have done to me this day. Now, behold, I know that you will surely be king, and that the kingdom of Israel will be established in your hand” (1 Sam. 24:17-20).

Years later, Saul’s prediction came true and David ascended the throne of Israel. David’s determination to obey God and to keep doing what was right helped him to avoid doing and saying things he would have later regretted. As a result, all of his enemies were eventually won over or defeated. Thousands of years later people are still taking note of David’s righteousness.11

[Paul now wraps up this chapter in 12:20-21, with a command.]

Paul writes, “BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.’12Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” These verses show that Paul understood the classic military principle that the best defense is an effective offense. He did not encourage a passive response to evil. Instead, he taught that we should go on the offensive — not to beat down or destroy our opponents, but to win them over, to help them see the truth, and to bring them into a right relationship with God, using the ultimate weapon — love.

Our love is perfected when we are able to graciously give our enemy food and drink in his time of need. Paul quotes Proverbs 25:21-22 which says, in so doing “you will heap burning coals on his head.” The phrase “you will heap burning coals on his head” is offered as the motivation for the kindness shown to an enemy, so I think it is very important that we understand the meaning of this statement. Some have traditionally seen it as simply meaning “you will burn him.” If you’ve got an enemy and you really want to see him burn, be extra nice to him — he won’t be able to stand it! Now that’s hardly in the spirit of this passage. Better is the interpretation, which takes the heaping of the coals as a way of producing a burning sense of shame and remorse at such unexpected treatment.13 Our generosity results in shame and remorse that is intended to lead our enemy to repentance and restoration. After all, coals of fire on his head now are to be preferred to burning in the lake of fire later. Does this mean that we are called to be a doormat? No, we are not called to be a doormat; we are called to be an elevator. We are to lift people up into the presence of God.

How can we obey the command of 12:21? It’s been said, “The best way to destroy an enemy is to turn him into a friend, through loving deeds.” Therefore, I must give my enemy what he needs, not what he deserves. You must do the same.

Tomorrow is another Monday. For many of you Mondays are not merely mundane; they are downright exasperating. Mondays are reality because you return to your job, your school, to the neighborhood; you must return to the fallen world, filled with fallen people. Inevitably, you will come across people who drive you crazy. How will you respond in light of your understanding of this passage?

In the end, there’s only one way you can pull off this kind of love. It is by recognizing God’s love for you. One Sunday a little boy looked up at his dad and asked, “Daddy, how does God love us?” His father answered, “Son, God loves us with an unconditional love.” The lad thought for a moment and then asked, “Daddy, what kind of love is unconditional love?” After a few minutes of silence his father answered, “Do you remember the two boys who used to live next door to us and the cute little puppy they got last Christmas?” “Yes.” “Do you remember how they used to tease it, throw sticks, and even rocks at it?” “Yes.” “Do you also remember how the puppy would always greet them with a wagging tail and would try to lick their faces?” “Yes.” “Well, that puppy had an unconditional love for those two boys. They certainly didn’t deserve his love for them because they were mean to him. But he loved them anyway.” The father then made his point: “God’s love for us is also unconditional. Men ridiculed Jesus, hit Him with sticks, and threw rocks at Him. They even killed Him. But, Jesus loved them anyway.”14

Since we’re in desperate need of God’s unconditional love, we ought to be all about loving our enemies and those we can’t stand. At one time, each one of us was an enemy of God, but Paul says that God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8). God now calls you to offer your very life up as He offered up His Son for your sins. As you do, you will powerfully reflect the cross of Christ in your life.

Copyright © 2001 Keith R. Krell. All rights reserved. All Scripture quotations, unless indicated, are taken from the New American Standard Bible, C 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1975, 1977, and 1995 by The Lockman Foundation, and are used by permission.Permissions: Feel free to reproduce and distribute any articles written by Keith Krell, in part or in whole, in any format, provided that you do not alter the wording in any way or charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. It is our desire to spread this information, not protect or restrict it.

Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: by Keith Krell, Timeless Word Ministries, 2508 State Ave NE Olympia, WA 98506, 360-352-9044, www.timelessword.com

Notes

1 Michael P. Green, Illustrations for Biblical Preaching (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1989).

2 Bob Deffinbaugh observes, “Some translations indicate that the editors of the text understand verses 9-13 as a distinct paragraph; others do not. There are good reasons for dividing verses 9-21 into two paragraphs. First, there is a fairly clear distinction in these two paragraphs as to who is being loved. Those whom we are to love in verses 9-13 are quite clearly fellow-Christians. Those in verses 14-21 are at least predominantly unbelievers. (This is not to say that some Christians do not persecute and wrongly treat other Christians). Second, the grammar of these verses suggests a significant shift at verse 14. Verse 9 begins with a statement which omits the verb but which nevertheless has imperatival force. All the remaining verbs in verses 9-13 are participles, not imperatives. Verses 10-13, then, provide further explanation and illustration of the implied command of verse 9. An imperative occurs in verse 14, strongly suggesting that Paul indicates a change of focus.”

3 Cf. 1 Cor 4:12; 10:16; 14:16; Gal 3:9; Eph 1:3.

4 Cf. Rom 15:5; 2 Cor 13:11; Phil 2:2; 4:2.

5 Gk. tapeinos see Luke 1:52; Jas 1:10.

6 Gk. pronoomenoi: BAGD, 708d.

7 Matthew 5:16 “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

8 For Paul’s use of “peace” in Romans, see 2:10; 3:17; 8:6; 12:18; 14:17, 19; 15:13, 33; 16:20.

9 See 2 Cor 8:21; cf. also 1 Thess 4:12; 5:15.

10 A quotation from Deut 32:35.

11 Ken Sande, The Peacemaker (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1991), 200-201.

12 A quotation from Prov 25:21-22.

13 Walter C. Kaiser, et. al., Hard Sayings of the Bible (Downer’s Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 1997). “Romans

12:21, in confirmation of the entire context of the passage, demonstrates that the figure of “pouring burning coals” is to be understood as an act of goodness, as something, which “overcomes evil with good.” This meaning of the figure is confirmed even by the context in Proverbs 25:21 — 22, which closes with the words “and the Lord will reward you.” And in the Old Testament, God’s rewards are always seen as response to human acts of kindness.”

14 Michael P. Green, Illustrations for Biblical Preaching (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1989).

All Scripture quotations, unless indicated, are taken from the New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1975, 1977, and 1995 by The Lockman Foundation, and are used by permission.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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